Prince Phillip on Rampage in search of "Sordid Chirac"

BBC NEWS World Europe Austrian outrage over sex poster

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was said to be "disappointed" by a series of 150 billboard posters which have appeared across Austria, including one depicting Queen Elizabeth II, George W Bush and Jacques Chirac apparently having sex!

Spanish artist Carlos Aires has been taken into hiding, fearing for his life, after reports were confirmed that Sir Rolf Harris had been beheaded at the Tower of London yesterday. Mr Harris was executed following his recent portrait of HMQEII unveiled at Buckingham Palace in earlier this month. http://www.deadbrain.co.uk/news/article_2005_12_20_5908.php

A Palace spokesman said "the idea of Her Majesty and Mr Chirac engaging in these kind of acts was frankly too unpleasant to consider". He continued, "given the Palace's tough response to the Harris portrait last month, the artist was taking a huge risk".

MI5 are searching for Prince Phillip who was last seen boarding Eurostar with his shotgun at 8.35 this morning.

Our White House source was not in a position to either confirm or deny Mr Bush's participation in the posters.

Religious Merger Creates 900 Million Hinjews

Attainment of Nirvana Still Goal, But Not So Important That You Should Miss Cousin Vijay's Bar Mitzvah

Hinjew leaders today conceded the merger of Hinduism and Judaism has not worked out as planned.

On paper, this was a textbook alliance — two smaller competitors join forces to take on a larger adversary, but the synergies are just not there. Military officers, in particular, have found assimilation difficult. "We were all excited at first, especially about the Kama Sutra parts, but it's not going to work," Israeli Col. Benyamin Telluk said at a joint press conference with Indian officers. "I mean, just this morning, I was showing Col. Bhadrak here pictures of my family, and he said my wife was a cow."

"I said his wife reminds me of a cow," Bhadrak explained.

"Oh, you've said it again!" screamed Telluk.

"It's a compliment!" answered Bhadrak.

SOURCE: http://www.satirewire.com/

Gary pays £1100 to take 12 year olds up the Glitter!

Asia, Far East, news and analysis Times Online, The Times, Sunday Times

Death by firing squad awaits Mr Glitter if he is unable to raise the estimated £560 needed to bribe a Saigon high court judge his lawyer revealed today.

Glitter, 61, whose real name is Paul Gadd, was quoted as saying 'I am close to beating these charges and appeal to my worldwide fan base to give generously so that I can mount...', unfortunately the interview was unexpectedly cut short.

Glitter's lawyer Le Thanh Kinh said "my client is looking foward to another thorough police probe".

Toga the Jackass Penguin STOLEN! by Scumbag

BBC NEWS England Hampshire Reward offered for stolen penguin

So, humanity has sunk to a new low this week with the theft (at Christmas no less!) of Toga.

There are so many things wrong with this story! Firstly, surely the word 'Jackass' is redundant in any sentence referring to a South African (human or otherwise). Second, this poor little soul has almost certainly perished through malnutrition as it suffered from the trauma of separation from its mother who has also been refusing food for the same reason. What can the purpose of this crime be? I mean how delighted would you be to be presented with an anorexic juvenile Penguin sporting a bow on Christmas day?


And while we discuss the plight of one Arctic species, I feel it is my duty to inform you of an opportunity that's simply too good to pass up.

It is now possible to take a package tour (alas Firstchoice are not yet operating a weekly service) to the most remote, unspoiled place on Earth, to witness the sheer majesty of one of nature's most beautiful and spectacular creations - the Polar Bear. Should this exquisite spectacle become tiresome, you also have the option to hire a snowmobil and rifle, and then you can go off for a fun afternoon shooting them! What larks!
The'>http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005590638,00.html">The Sun Online - News: Petition to save the bear

Quiet News Week!

So, not really much by way of note worthy news in the press this week, but I did spot this which made me chuckle!

I think there must be one of Cherie with the same caption somewhere too! I guess its arguable who's device has a stronger signal!

Obituary: Vincent 'The Chin' Gigante

BBC NEWS World Americas Obituary: Vincent 'The Chin' Gigante
Now this is some kind of obituary! In a world of political correctness, here is a guy who lived his life evading the authorities by pulling any trick he could think of, including feigning insanity for over 30 years! Fingers crossed - there might be a film in the making!

Bout of the Century: Dubbya Vs. Ali

So, did anyone else find the Bush Ali encounter interesting? When I first saw it (as I wandered by a muted TV screen) I thought it was Ali suggesting that Dubya was a loony. But when I watched it again it seems as though Georgie boy throws a dummy punch and Ali making a joke that even in his infimred condition he would be able to take him. Anyway I thought this picture was worthy of a caption competition:


My personal contribution is 'I think one of us has been hit in the head'?